I Just Cut My Own Throat!
Posted: Friday, January 22, 2010
by Tex Norman
THOUGHTS ON SELF-WORTH
I do the grocery shopping at our house. This morning I was pushing the cart down the personal hygiene products aisle. I remembered I needed shaving stuff. I looked at the shavers that you buy and add blades to, but they were too expensive. I checked the disposable shavers. I looked at Schick, BIC, and Gillette. Some came in packages of three for around $5.00, there were some that came in packages of 5 and 10 for around that same $5.00 ish price. The bulk disposable razors had thin handles, but a razor is a razor, right? Then I spotted the store brand. Those were made with an ugly mustard colored plastic for the handle, but there they were in a clear bag, 10 for $1.99.
Now after putting up the groceries I got in a hot BATH tub. I shave in the tub. I have to sit in the tub and let it fill. If I fill first, at my size, I get in, and the water gets out.
I know most guys buy shaving cream in an aerosol can, or some shaving gel that comes out like tooth paste but as you rub it on your face it foams up. Those products seem too expensive for me. I use hand soap, soap up my face and use the Braille method of shaving. I run the blade across my face, and then feel for escapee whiskers, soap them up again, and scrape at the whiskery spots until I no longer feel the hair stumps.
The under chin area is always a problem, especially as I age and have the beginnings of a turkey neck. That's when it happened. I cut my throat. It wasn't a nick, it was a slice and a long slice as for as shaving wounds go. When I applied my generic store brand aftershave (sold by the quart) I made a face that the Home Alone kid would have admired.
Now I contemplated these events and asked myself a critical question: Why was I shaving without shaving cream, using the cheapest razor money can buy? When I buy razors for my wife I buy one of those Venus vibrating razors.
As I press a wad of toilet tissue against my bleeding throat I realize that I think my wife deserves the best, and I deserve nothing, and since I need to shave to look semi normal, I reluctantly buy the cheapest crap possible. These bulk bag cheap-o razors had the words Safety Razor on the packaging, but there was not much safety present with these things.
The cheap disposable razors I buy are an outward and visible sign of an inner and utter conviction that I am not worth it, not worth a good razor, not worth the big piece of chicken, not worth name brand shoes or pants or anything else. Perhaps I bled so much I came too and realized that I don't value myself.
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
Eleanor Roosevelt
How can we know if we undervalue ourselves?
Ask these questions and then answer them honestly, ruthlessly. Don't answer YES or NO because that doesn't show degree. Use answers like Never, Occasionally, Often or Always.
1. How often do I feel a dislike myself ?If your answers indicate that you undervalue yourself, or hate yourself, well, you are a member of the LOW SELF ESTEEM CLUB.
2. How often do I feel a I think I am inadequate when compared with other people?
3. How often do I feel a shy?
4. How often do I feel a lack of confidence?
5. How often do I feel as if my opinions doesn 't matter to other people?
6. How often do I feel as if I don't deserve to be happy?
7. How often do I feel like other people dislike me?
8. If I do well at something how often do I call it "dumb luck" rather that feeling pleased with myself?
9. When I make a mistake how often do I believe that it is all my own fault?
10. How often do I find it difficult to say, "NO!"
11. Is it hard for me to accept criticism?
12. Is it hard for me to give honest criticism to other people right to their face?
13. When I'm angry how often do I stuff it down inside me and hide my anger from others?
Maybe the first step toward building up your esteem is to go out and buy yourself the most expensive gold plated shaver, and an expensive brand of shaving cream with aloe, because your face deserves the very best.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)I'm glad you didn't bleed to death in the tub and were able to write this article. Maybe it isn't all about low self esteem, maybe it's about habit. My mother never had a self-cleaning oven so when I got married and the salesman tried to push one on me, I said there's no way I could have one after seeing my mother clean her own oven for years. I'm breaking the cycle and going to insist my daughter have one when the time comes, because she's worth it! I was worth it too, just maybe didn't know it at the time. Good article Tex!YOU are doing what I and all weak self-esteemers ought to do, NOT pass on to our children this attitude that everyone on earth is worth more. Your daughter is worth more. My son is worth more. The issue is never the worth, it is always recognizing that the worth is there. Passing on that message, inspiring a child to feel worth, to feel worthy can make us great parents and may be a place where we begin to recognize our own self worth. And Brianna, you have a really great last name. Peace: tex
Tex,Great article. Yes, you are definitely worth the best, however, a little advice? If you are going to splurge and buy the best for your face, why not stand at the sink, look in the mirror, and address your face?Thanks Nancy. Thanks for reading and thanks for the advice. Peace: tex
Hi Tex.Those are some very good questions you asked and my answers tell me that I still have a lot of work to do.I hope you go out and buy yourself a nice razor and some real shaving cream; that you enjoy them and tell yourself that you are worth it.Hugs,DianneThanks Dianne: I think maybe it is not getting there it is the journey that matters. Good to hear from you again. Peace be with you. tex
I was going to join a self-esteme group, but decided against it. I didn't feel worthy enough to attend.
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