Obama, Sexual Intercourse and the Psychology of Disappointment
Posted: Tuesday, November 04, 2008
by Tex Norman
It is important to realize that there is a predictable psychological response that almost always follows getting what you want: disappointment, and regret. It often occurs after we have built something up in our minds, when we have dreamed our dreams, or when we have imagined how great it would be IF ONLY ____[blank]____ would happen. We are too often like little kids waiting with impatience for that bike we're expecting Christmas. We use various phrases to describe this phenomena, such as: buyer's remorse, the let down, the honeymoon is over.
This is a pattern of emotional behavior that is not isolated to elections, and it is inevitable that it will be experienced by lots of people who voted for the winner.
I first noticed this Psychology of Regret when I got married. I was a virgin. I had never had sex with anyone but me, and I don't see myself as that sexy. Being raised by Ninja Christians I was taught that sexual sins were very likely to be the worse sins, and the sins God is most likely to deem UNFORGIVABLE. So on my wedding night my wife and I were newbies to nuptial bliss. In other words, we were not too good at "doin' it." In my case, the honeymoon is over sensation didn't even wait for the honeymoon to be over.
There really was no way I could have hoped to dodge this disappointment bullet. Remember, being a male, I was suffering from testosterone poisoning. I was horny. I was hot to trot. I was once in a bad car crash and as the car was tumbling over one, two, three times, and I was flopping around inside like a rag doll in a clothes drier, what I was praying was this: God don't let me die before I get to have sexual intercourse.
I had never seen an actual, in the flesh, an uncovered breast until my honeymoon night. I had high expectations. You just can't have expectations that high and have them met. Reality can never be as good as our imagination. In our dreams things are perfect, but in real life there is no perfect.
This same phenomena applies to this year's election.
For one thing, at least for me, and a few million others, this election has been so interesting, so exciting, so all consuming that (I and) we have become election junkies, addicted to the adrenaline rush of hourly campaign news. Without the hyper-reporting of campaign speeches, gaffs, controversial associations, "worse persons in the world" coverage and conservative-liberal mudslinging, and the yammering on of pundit debates what are we going to do? A withdrawal is inevitable, and all withdrawal is unpleasant, and is the perfect example of "let down."
I believe Obama will win, but I also feel that it is still possible, by morning, that McCain could be our President elect. Regardless of who wins, I expect most of us to be engulfed in regret and disappointment in the days, weeks, and months that will follow this election. I also feel that the "let down" will be even greater should Obama be our President. After all, if Obama wins he will be the first African American to be President, so any unexpected current event, and every decision objected to by anyone is likely going to be blamed on his race. If the race thing isn't central to our disappointment then all that Democrat,/liberal/socialist/Marxist labeling will be the reason Obama can't turn water in to wine, walk on water, fix the economy, provide National Health care, and eliminate taxes.
If disappointment is inevitable then what are all of us future disappointment victims to do?
Expect it. It is coming, so don't over react to it.
Become an activist. The best way to fill the election action vacuum is to be a participant the political process that follows. When I found my "first time" disappointing, I didn't just stop having sex. Instead, I took a greater interest in my role in the whole sexual experience. It worked on contributing my part to make the whole thing good for both of us. When you get disappointed with the political process ask yourself what you can do to contribute to the process, and make the whole thing enjoyable for all.
There is an old democracy joke that fits well here:
Democracy is like sex. When it is good it is very, very good. When it is bad. . . it is still pretty good.
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