Internet Snipers
Posted: Sunday, October 19, 2008
by Tex Norman
I recently wrote an article where I explored my will to live. I wasn't going to kill myself, but suicide is a thought I have seriously considered in the past, and I do hate my life right now. This morning I got a comment on that article where my thoughts and feelings were mocked. It wasn't a horrible response. "Good grief! What do you want a hug?" You know, maybe a cyber-hug would be nice.
Now, I am actually amazed that I have not gotten more negative comments to the articles I write on Searchwarp. It is a testimoney to Searchwarp, and the community of writers there, that so many responders are just very kind, nice people. This is a perfect place for writers to go if they want to express themselves, and feel support from peers. I have written on other sites where the comments were mean, sometimes vicious, and the negative responses were frequent. I am a Democrat and this is a highly emotional political time for our country, so I expected my political views might have gotten me roasted. Instead, the readers seem to be mostly supportive. When people disagree they have given me rationale for their counter position. I am sure many have disagreed and just opted not to comment, having a belief that there are various view points on every topic, and even if they think my position is stupid they follow the Voltaire quote:
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. ~Voltaire
Human beings like to name and categorize and this has been done with the Internet Snipers. The big two are: Internet Bullies, and Trolls.
The temptation for some to pick on someone, to belittle them, to mock, to make fun of, to insult, supplant, and psychologically bayonet the wounded, is just too deliciously easy to let it pass. The problem is that the internet is the perfect place to find victims. The same reason it is easy to be a Cyber Creep, is the reason why the Cyber Weak are making themselves targets.
The introverted, the delicate, the isolated and the lonely will use the internet as a way to look for human contact with some sense of safety. The internet is a big pool and posting is similar sticking your big toe in to test the temperature.
On the web you can whisper, "Could anyone like me?" And if all you hear are crickets chirping you can retreat to the safety of your shadowy room, and rationalize it all away. So the potential victims are there because they have the safety of anonymity, and the Cyber Snipers are there because they too have the cover of anonymity.
Sadly, this sniper activity that takes place on line can actually be a matter of life and death. These Cyber Sniper Bullies can and have had such deadly aim that they have hit their targets and killed them.
- Sam Leeson, a 13 years old, was bullied on the social networking site Bebo and was later found hanged in his bedroom.
- Megan Meier, another 13 years old, committed suicide after being intentionally befriended and then dumped by someone she believed to be a new online friend named Josh Evans. In reality, Josh Evans - who said he was new to the neighborhood - turned out to be a MySpace account created by the mother of a schoolmate of Megan's. Megan and the child had once been friends.
- Stephanie Burlingham, 14 years old, was subject to bullying through internet instant messaging services and text messages before she was discovered hanged.
- Ryan Halligan, 13 years old, hung himself in 2003 after getting mercilessly cyber bullied, and finally, after meeting another depressed kid who encouraged him to commit suicide, Ryan took the suggestion.
These online sites, that invite the anonymous to post, have a lot of trouble with some of their responders.Sticks and stones
may break my bones,but words don't kill methey can make mewish I was dead
Bullies
The online bullies that cause trouble on a posting site are nothing like the Trolls, because they are accepted members on the site, often when a big number of postings by their online name. These online bullies are sometimes respected, admired, and are sometimes viewed as a poster with insight and sagacity. Having a reputation on a site means that you can often "get away with" being hypercritical, you can intimidate new people, or someone who is clearly weak, damaged posting newbie. Site administrators and other members on the site will sometimes allow these people to exercise their jerk-dumbness with out a word of protest.
TrollsThe online bullies that cause trouble on a posting site are nothing like the Trolls, because they are accepted members on the site, often when a big number of postings by their online name. These online bullies are sometimes respected, admired, and are sometimes viewed as a poster with insight and sagacity. Having a reputation on a site means that you can often "get away with" being hypercritical, you can intimidate new people, or someone who is clearly weak, damaged posting newbie. Site administrators and other members on the site will sometimes allow these people to exercise their jerk-dumbness with out a word of protest.
One category of responders is called Trolls. A troll is someone who gets their jollies from deliberately stirring things up, wreaking havoc, on the site by making mean, or outrageous comments because they enjoy the reactions of the wounded, and the ferreting out of other reluctant snipers who suddenly see by the troll example, that they too can shoot with random abandonment.
What should you do when you receive negative reactions, constructive criticism, vicious criticism, and cyber sniper fire?
Searchwarp gives you an option to delete the comment. It is very hard to argue with someone who just refuses to respond, who won't take the bait, who just ignores the cyber sniper. If you are hypersensitive, as many creative people are, why would you invite yourself to take more shots?
Critics can be your most important friend. I don't read criticism of my stuff only because when it's bad, it's rough-and when it's good, it's not good enough. ~Kevin Bacon
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Well written article, Mr. Norman, and I agree totally. The Internet contains some of the worst elements in society as well as some of the best, and either is just as near to your inbox (or your article comments) as the other. It can be a real dilemma.I've battled depression over the years as well, and even though I now get fan mail almost every day from people on SearchWarp, one negative comment can send me spiraling.A lot of people work hard to make SearchWarp a positive place to hang out, there are many incredibly supportive members here. Glad you are a part of it!
Thank you so much Mr. Horst:Sometimes I think I am so hypersensitive that it is just crazy for me to put myself in a place where I am open to attacks. This is especially true because the attacks don't have to be that bad for me to take them bad.I wish you the very best in your fight to feel OK. You are OK already, but you and I and many others just don't always feel OK.Keep writing, and thank you for your kind words. Peace be with you: tex
Hi Tex,This is a great and important article. You display a tremendous amount of courage in opening up about this aspect of your personal life, you are to be commended. I see those that use the anonymity of the internet to personally attack others as cowards. Hopefully, your article will help someone out there. Thanks for being a member of the Searchwarp community.JDDear Judge Dred: Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. Peace: tex
Tex, I love receiving and giving hugs. Anytime you need one, it's always available.
I agree with Bruce and JD and won't add anymore. I'm happy to have met you. Keep writing and sharing. I also agree with you, this is a very fine Writers' Community. Many appreciate it as such and only support it. You can read their names. They're proud not to be anonymous.
{{{{Tex}}}} <=== A big hug!
AvisDear Ms. Ward: As always, you are more than kind. Thanks for the hug. You keep writing and let's all hope that the world calms down, and that everything holy keeps Senator Obama safe. Peace be with you, and with all: tex
Thanks Tex for a timely article.
On my first reporting job, I almost got myself sued by Mr. Big Wig in the town. I was naive, green, and all I wanted to do was write tall-tales and restaurant reviews. My editor assigned me to a rather important, wealthy little town, one with an atomic power plant. I made a statement about a prominent land owner, reporting that he rented land to the atomic plant, which implied he had a financial interest in it. This old guy actually ran the town, as it turned out, kind of like the miserable geezer in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." At first the other selectmen were conciliatory about my "mistake."
"It was an honest mistake, and you're new," they said.
Then, Mr. Big let loose on me, calling me this-and-that, threatening this-and-that, demanding to know who my source was. I never caved, though. Except, in the interest of getting through my first week without having to hire a lawyer I did apologize. After that carried a recorder with me, and listened very hard to make sure I heard what I said I did. I had the Open Meeting Law on my side.
"So," I thought, "these people living their otherwise ho-hum lives really like all the attention I'm bringing."
I almost collapsed in self-pity. Instead, I summoned my resolve to be like a pit bull, and I was not always a "favorite" reporter, but I was at least a well-read one. and, well-read I was. The newspaper dispenser would now run out within a day, where before I started writing there were always some left over.
And now, shifting gears, here's a piece of Loudon Wainright the III's "Swimming Song," which has many times carried me from one season to the next (that, and vitamin C):This summer I went swimming
This summer I might have drowned.
But I held my breath, I kicked my feet,
Moved my arms around
I moved my arms around.
This summer I swam in the ocean,
And I swam in a swimming pool.
Salted my wounds, chlorined my eyes,
I'm a self-destructive fool, a self-destructive fool.Mr. Lewis, Outstanding story and Loudon is one of my favorite singers. I wish you the best and thanks so much for reading my stuff. I've been reading your stuff as well. Peace be with you: tex
Hi Tex.Well color me sheltered. I didn't know and haven't really thought about Internet bullies. Guess I've just been lucky.People are always going to disagree with something we've said or written. I guess we just have to be brave and weather the bad comments. I've had a couple of nasty ones and they did throw me for a loop. But I got over it pretty fast. And I do consider myself to be a sensitive person and somewhat lacking in self-confidence. At least I don't have the added burden of depression as you and my husband and so many other people do.I enjoy your writing...well, it is a little down sometimes, but you make good points and bring significant issues to light. And you write very well. So just keep doing it and d*&% the critics.DianneThanks Ms. Lehmann: you are very kind.Peace be with you, tex
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